Wednesday 7 February 2024

Coaching Update

Change your Thinking and you can Change your Life!

Well, I am now 11 sessions into my coaching, with 5 sessions to go.  I can honestly say that this is some of the best money I have ever spent on myself.  It feels like an investment because I will be feeling the benefits long after I’d have worn out some designer shoes or fancy make-up or the tan faded from a sunny holiday.

I knew I needed to make some changes in my life before I had my initial chat with Luke; see previous post.   But at the time, I couldn't see the wood for the trees regarding what those changes might look like. I felt trapped (by the need to pay the bills) in a job where I was feeling burnt out and in fact was signed off sick.  I didn't feel that I'd ever be well enough to return, yet didn't see an alternative.  I knew I needed another perspective, but I didn't need therapy / counselling. In fact my employers had recommended a counsellor and I went for a few sessions because I thought I should, but it wasn’t the right thing for me at the time.

Enter Lifecoach Luke!  From the first initial introductory chat, I felt heard, understood and not judged. I came off the call feeling renewed hope.  For a variety of reasons,  it was a few weeks before I started my coaching sessions but once underway, I started to have a change of attitude.  I can't explain in a few words how it happened, but after exploring what the blocks were, I managed to get back to work as well as having the courage to reduce my working hours to improve my work-life balance. I now feel it's a life-work balance, not the other way around!

There is very little jargon in Luke's approach, and any new concepts are explained clearly and with examples.   I like the way he also checks my understanding on an ongoing basis by sometimes asking me to explain how I have understood what was discussed in a previous session. 

Don't get me wrong.  This approach is not for you if you don't want to actually make any changes or if you are not prepared to be challenged.  As a therapist, (NHS, Mental Health Counsellor) I know that "nothing will work unless you do" and I was very prepared to be open to new ways of looking at my life and my thinking and myself - even those that seemed counter-intuitive or counter to models I've worked with.  I am also willing to be challenged.  Luke has an easy, empathic manner (but without sickly sympathy, thank goodness as that’s the last thing I want).  Rapport was established quickly and that, I believe is what makes challenge possible.  I know I have unconsciously attempted to dodge a few questions or avoid exploring some of my blind spots, but that is not allowed!!

The biggest thing that has changed is my attitude.  I actually thought I had a reasonably good attitude previously, but negativity and a sense of being overwhelmed had crept in somehow via the thin end of a wedge.  All this is has been and is being unpicked in coaching.

I had dreams, massive daydreams of starting up a small business too, using my newly discovered / developed sewing skills, with a view to retiring from the day job sooner than planned.  But that's all they were. Daydreams.  And now?  I'm doing it!  It's happening. I'm making it happen.  

Proud Paws CanineApparel is a real thing!  I’ve been selling at Craft Fairs and through word
of mouth and have clear ideas of where I’m going with it.
  Our Facebook shop will launch soon – watch this space!  I say ‘our’ because my daughter, Vicky is working with me – we have different skills sets that compliment each other and I just have confidence that this is going to be big for both of us.

I am committed to retiring from my day job when I turn 60 in August and can’t wait to work solely in my own venture.   There.  I’ve said it!

I’ve said this elsewhere, but I feel like my life has had an M.O.T.! 

People engage in coaching for a variety of reasons and I'd hypothesise that part of the reason for many people will be that some part of their life, like mine, feels stuck. 

Honestly - IF YOU FEEL STUCK IN A RUT - MAKE THE CALL.  You've nothing to lose by having a brief free chat.  You have everything to gain.  I've never looked back, except to see how far I've come. 

#mylifecoachluke

https://www.lifecoachluke.com/

https://www.facebook.com/mylifecoachluke

https://www.instagram.com/mylifecoachluke/



Coaching Follow Up

In July last year, I knew I needed to make some changes and took up some coaching to help me get some clarity.  I wrote about my discovery call here and an update after 11 sessions here.  I completed my 16 coaching sessions with Luke in January, followed by a review session after 3 months. 

I recently had occasion to be in contact with Luke again and in our exchange, he mentioned a quote he'd recently seen, which really struck a chord with me. It is this:


I don't think I've ever actually said, "my life sucks and I have nothing going for me" because I've never felt that was the case.  However, I have, at times, felt trapped in my job and it's seemed that my choices were limited.

A few changes were in progress when I first started my course of coaching - including moving house to downsize and significantly reduce my mortgage.  But the biggest change has been in my mindset.  The emerging conviction that I can do anything I like* has been a revelation and I've stopped making excuses for not taking action.

I had more or less decided that I would retire from my day job on my 60th birthday at the end of August this year.  However, between the end of my batch of coaching and my review in March, I'd decided to retire a couple of months earlier.  I'm enjoying sewing, crafting an making 'stuff'.  All sorts of stuff.  

My current sewing business is Proud Paws, specialising in hand made functional, safety and funky apparel for dogs.  I'm selling in an online shop and at craft fairs and dog shows.  An important aspect of the last couple of sessions of coaching was to differentiate between what is a hobby and what is a business.  I have clarity on this now - 'dog stuff' is business, everything else is a hobby.  It's great that the business is enjoyable work, but still important to know what's what.
That doesn't mean it can't change or be added to. Here's a thought download**.......  I like hanging around with people who run*** and I love fancy dress.  I am good at making fancy dress clothes. Lots of my running friends like running in fancy dress.  Many fancy dress outfits available commercially aren't particularly suitable for running in. The fabric is too hot and sweaty (or rather, it would soon be hot and sweaty if you ran in it!).  I could make fancy dress outfits out of more suitable fabrics.  There are probably loads of runners outside my circle of friends who would pay to have something more suitable made. I could do that.  I like witch and fairy themes.  I could sew stuff related to that.  I don't ever have to get fed up of working. I just have to keep focused and acknowledge to myself which bits are business and which are hobbies - at any given time.

The future feels very exciting.

* There is a caveat to that.  I can do anything I like, but remember that actions have consequences.  But if you don't think you have any choices or you think you are trapped, remember the quote that I began with.  You might not be convinced right now but if you were to book a 30 minute discovery call with Lifecoach Luke you could be on the start of an interesting journey.

** I learned about thought downloads during my coaching sessions.  I like to call them thought dumps, as I would just dump all my thoughts onto paper or into a rambling email (as part of my coaching homework).  They are great for getting all that over thinking out of my head.  If you think this would be useful to you, again, I'd say get in touch with Luke Shillings.

*** I've done a fair bit of running myself; that's how I met many of my friends.  I've let it slip a bit in the last couple of years, but it's something I'm starting to prioritise again.  There IS time to fit it all in.  It's case of choices and priorities.  "I haven't got time" is the adult equivalent of "the dog ate my homework!"

Any how, to wind this up......


If you'd like a funky dog bandana or a functional treat pouch
, I'd love you to pay Proud Paws a visit, either at our online shop or follow us on Facebook If you have no need or wish for any of these items, but would like to do me a kindness, you could like and / share the facebook page.  This is something I'm very grateful for as it helps to spread the word beyond my immediate circle.

If, on the other hand, you'd like to take steps to transform your life,  then you can find Luke by following any of the links below:














Cottage For Sale

 Vicky and Ollie are selling their cottage.

Check it out here ....

Vicky and Ollie's Cottage

2 Riby Road

Keelby

DN41 8ER.





Tuesday 9 May 2023

Proud Paws - Canine Apparel

 Meet the Model – Episode 4

Millie Wells

Proud Paws: Hi Millie. Thank you for agreeing to speak to us. It's lovely to meet you and introduce you to the lovely people who follow our page. So, Millie, do your humans have nicknames for you?

Millie: My humans often call me Millie Mischief, Millie Monster or Millie Monkey.
PP: Really?! I can’t think what they are implying. So cheeky. You sometimes just can’t get the staff, can you? What is your favourite food?

Millie: I love chicken, cheese, tuna and toast, not necessarily altogether!
PP: We can’t fault you there, Millie. Fortunately, most humans like those too, so there’s a good chance of a treat. We’ve heard that you live with runners, so you’ll always be well fuelled. Do you know what has been your longest run or walk?
Millie: I've done 21 miles a couple of times when my humans have been training for long races.
PP: Wow! You are definitely an endurance pup. What do you prefer, amble, brisk walk or run?
Millie: Spaniels definitely don't amble! Brisk walking is great, especially off lead so that I can get busy chasing the birdies and picking up sticks and stones, but so is running - I especially like the sprint start at a race. We're often in the lead to begin with, but not for long as my Mum's a bit of a handicap and slows me down!

PP: Have you ever stolen food? What did you steal? Did you get into trouble?
Millie: Just the once, at barkrun. Star Baker Phil had made delicious mincemeat cake but the lid wasn't on the box properly so I was able to help myself to a piece! I didn't get into trouble but it did make me sick afterwards.
PP: They can hardly even call it stealing if the lid wasn’t properly on! I mean, anything at your height is fair game, I’d say. Do you have a guilty pleasure?
Millie: Sleeping on the bed and sharing the human's food, in fact most things that make me think I'm a human too.

PP: Ha ha. Humans should try to be more dog! It’s such fun. You get taken all sorts of fun places. What is the furthest you have travelled from home?
Millie: I've been adventuring in the Lake District, which was so much fun as there's lots of water. I love water!
PP: This question has proved somewhat controversial, but who is your favourite human?
Millie: I love everybody but my absolute favourite is my hoosister Georgia. She picks me up for cuddles and covers me with kisses.
PP: Do you like modelling for Proud Paws?
Millie: I love modelling for Proud Paws. Auntie Fran makes fab bandanas that make me look even more beautiful than I already am and my humans bribe me with treats when they're taking my photos.
PP: Food treat bribes are the best! Where are you going for your holidays this year?
Millie: I'm really excited because I'm going to Cornwall in my campervan. I've never been there before but my humans have told me there's lots of walks, trips to the seaside and ice cream.
Proud Paws: That sounds great. I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun. Your #vanlife bandana will be just
right for the trip and we’ll be asking you to model something from our summer range before too long. Thank you for modelling for us and for telling us so much about yourself.
15% OFF your first order from Proud Paws online shop when you use this link -


or use discount code MILLIE15%MAY at the checkout.

https://www.proudpawscanineapparel.com/

https://www.facebook.com/proudpawscanineapparel






A tired dog is a happy dog and a tired dog is a good dog.



Sunday 19 March 2023

Proud Paws - Canine Apparel




Meet the Models - Episode 1 - Percy Bates.

Over at Proud Paws Canine Apparel, we're conducting a series of interviews with some of our models. The first one is a beautiful Chocolate lab, Percy Bates.


Pop over to our facebook page to find out all about him.  

What is his favourite food?  

Does he have a guilty pleasure?  

What food has he stolen?!

What is his longest walk or run?


Percy was one of the first models to join the Proud Paws modeling team and has looked very dapper in Hallowe'en and Christmas Themed bandanas as well as absolutely rocking our hi-vis bandanas that help keep him visible in dark on winter evening walks.


To see our current range, please visit the Proud Paws online shop and keep up to date with our latest events on our facebook page.




 

Tuesday 19 July 2022

Time for Change.

 I've been here before! 


There have been various times in my life when I've felt as though I'm at a crossroads or some kind of junction, knowing that I need to take a different route, feeling that I need a change, but have lacked direction or self-belief or courage or determination (or a combination) to actually do anything different.

I've always been pretty risk averse so change doesn't come easy.  I've also always been quite a compliant employee, following rules and procedures (that I sometimes don't really agree with) and generally doing as I'm told.  I'm a worker, not a shirker.  I'm a foot soldier, not a sergeant.  I'm not a 'mover and shaker' type or a 'climb the business ladder' type.  These are my thoughts. My beliefs about myself.

I work hard in my job and from time to time I have struggled with the workload.  In May this year it came to a head and the demands that I'm expected to meet became more than I perceived I could cope with.

In January this year, we had already put our house on the market (and it sold straight away but we've been stuck in a chain) and had an offer accepted on a bungalow.  This is a downsize and is with a view to reducing our outgoings and possibly for me to be able to reduce my working hours.  I fully expected this to go to plan.  But with the delay in completing, the demands at work remaining and increasing, I reached a point one morning where I just looked at my workload for the week, felt a sense of dread and just thought, "I can't do this right now."  It was the right decision (for me, my colleagues and for the clients I work with) to take a step back.  I spoke to my GP and Occupational Health and was also referred to a counsellor through work. To cut a long story short, I am signed off until 26th August with stress, anxiety and depression. 

I agree that I feel stressed - overwhelmed by such a build up of pressure for so long.  Certainly I feel anxious about the future, but I don't feel and never have felt depressed. What I do know though, is that I am at a crossroads again.  But this one looks a little different.  Or rather I am looking at it differently.  On previous occasions, there has been no sign at the crossroads, or just a sign like the above image - not all that helpful.

This time I am seeing the sign differently - more like this one. A sign that at least gives me a
bit of clue.

I am fortunate to be surrounded by a number of supportive family members and a close circle of encouraging, accepting and caring friends. Through one of these friends I was 'signposted' to a different kind of help: A Life Coach.  (linked* with permission).  I had a half hour free consultation and went away already feeling fired up for change!  I hadn't realised how much I view things in black and white and miss the grey areas.  Suddenly possibilities started to look more like probabilities.  Because of my personal circumstances (not important to this blog) I agreed with my Coach to wait until after the house move to start my coaching.  But just like a client on a Counselling / Psychotherapy waiting list, change is occurring simply because ... well... I'm not sure really - I guess a lightbulb has gone on!

Fast forward to this week - our house move is now imminent (this Friday all being well).  I am packed.  My craft and sewing stuff is packed away and I can't be bothered to run.  It's very hot - currently 36 decrees C.  But I'm not saying it's too hot to run. Other people are running.  I'm owning my "don't want to run and feel uncomfortable right now!"  So that has given me a window to reflect and write something.  I'll be contacting my coach to get started once we've unpacked a few bits at the bungalow.

I don't know what the outcome or outcomes will be.  But I doubt it will be a "one thing or the other thing" - it may be a bit of both or all.  I'm excited about getting a different perspective.  I'm not so scared of the uncertainty.

I've just realised that in writing this, the way I'm viewing the signpost has already changed. I can't find anything in clipart that is what I am picturing.  Let me try to draw it!

Here we go....


OK, I think we can rule out drawing as a possible career change, but you get the idea!  Pretty sure that there are many solutions and possibilities.

 I'll write about my Coaching Journey (amongst other things) in this blog.

---------------------------------------

*Life Coach is Luke Shillings - Click here for his website OR  Click here for Luke's Instagram OR here for his Facebook page

Saturday 19 March 2022

Evolution of this Blog!

 I started this blog in 2010 without much idea of what direction it would take.  Initially it was about positive change possibly influenced by working as a counsellor in the NHS commissioned Mental Health Service, Navigo.  My thoughts were that it might contain nuggets of self help and inspiration.  The tag line at that time was Agent of Change.



When I started running, most of my writing was about exercise and wellbeing.  I lost weight and when I turned 50 years old soon I noted that I felt physically more fit and well than I did in my 20s and 30s.  The tagline then became Fit After Fifty.  

I'm now 58 and must confess I'm not at my fittest and am probably at my fattest!  I say this with amusement - I'm not getting down on myself about it.  Running feels quite tough at the moment and it stands to reason that being about 2  stone overweight isn't helping matters.  I'm training for another Ultra Marathon - Spires Ultra which is in mid-May.  This one is 34 miles which is the furthest I've run.  I'm looking forward to it and nervous about it at the same time.  It is, however, inspiring me to eat more healthily and drink less alcohol in order for running to start to feel a little easier.



These days, running isn't my only hobby.  When we lost my dad, Eric-the-Viking in 2016, he left some money to my brothers and me.  For some reason I wanted to buy a sewing machine.  I wasn't sure what I was going to make or when but it seemed a good idea to buy one whilst I had some money that wasn't earmarked for anything else!  During the pandemic, I made a lot of masks for family and friends, which was a nice way way to get started and build confidence.  I've found YouTube amazing for tutorials and with what I learned,  I soon started making bags clothes and household accessories as well as fancy dress costumes. I am particularly fond of upcycling clothes and reusing materials as I can just get started on something and see how it develops.  That's where the latest tagline has come from - Making it up as I Sew Along!  I love it.  I have what was Vicky's bedroom as my sewing and crafts room and spend hours in here.  It is a very calm and relaxing space.


I've also made dog collars, bandanas, dog toys and blankets and pillows, dog coats and even pouches for activity tracking watches that clip onto a collar or harness to track dogs' running!  I don't even have a dog!  But Vicky has a Great Dane called Percy and Paul has a Boxer called Piper.  I call them my grandpups.  Chris and I are Dogpa and Dogma! Percy comes to stay with us sometimes, which is lovely; and we have the best of both worlds. No responsibility or commitment but all the pleasure.  We're very lucky.  






I haven't written anything here in quite a some time, but plan to pick it up again now, as a space to share some of my sewing projects..... and maybe to wax lyrical about the dogs and running and other stuff that springs to mind.  We are currently in the process of selling our house and downsizing to a bungalow.  I'll still have a sewing and craft room! 
The move will mean that I may be able to reduce my hours at work and spend more times sewing, crafting and writing. As I've learned so much from other people online (YouTube and websites) and at other times I've just found my way around things by trial and error and Making it Up as I Sew Along.  I'd like to pass on what I've learned and hopefully encourage others to have a go.  Exercise is important for physical and mental wellbeing, but I'm becoming so aware that being creative also can have a massive positive impact.

So this post is really just an update and is me reflecting on how this blog has evolved over the years.  Let's see where it goes next!